Emotion: 5 ways to handle big emotions for kids

Emotion- Ēmoveō- To move out

A wise person once told me that a child needs to laugh and cry every day. While we are often happy with our children's laughter, we tend to want to quiet or shift crying or other strong emotions, even to the point of bribery or punishment.  But with an inquisitive and open mind, we begin to notice emotion as it moves through ourselves and others, responding, pulsing and dancing together. We may watch this dance with interest and wonder as we would a passing and beautiful storm.  We then become the witness to our Selves, welcoming emotion for what it is, the powerful energetic force to create and destroy, and to move, shift, open, and release us from stagnancy.  And as with any storm, emotion has the ability to pass and renew, regenerate, resurrect and reinvigorate life and spiritual forces.  Because they are transitory, emotions can never define, or describe who we are. Knowing this, without judging, we can witness emotions in our children and in ourselves with allowance, in all their forms, knowing that this too is God, and this too is beautiful. ❤ Karen

Affirmation: I feel and trust my emotions

Chakra engaged: Sacral

Activity 1:  The Horse that Ran Away

Storynory.com is one of my all time favorite websites to listen to stories. Listen with your child to the short, ancient Chinese parable, The Horse that Ran Away, on Storynory.  In this story a farmer in reaction to life events that his neighbors label as lucky, or unlucky, simply responds with "Maybe, who can say?"  You can also find this story in print in the wonderful story collection Kindness: A Treasury of Buddhist Wisdom for Children and Parents by Sarah Connor and in the children's book Zen Shorts by John J. Muth. This parable reminds us of non-attachment, not only to events but also to emotional states.

Activity 2: Notice it, Name it and Move it Out

While the list of emotions is very, very long, they all can be grouped into 6 main categories:  happiness, sadness, anger, fear, disgust, and surprise. It's a good practice early in your child's life to begin to name emotions.  When you name them, it allows the emotions to separate and move out of the body.  Without identifying feelings they can become stuck in the body, which can lead to health problems in adulthood: anger as headaches, grief in the lungs and breathing, fear in the digestive problems; loneliness as heart problems and so on.

Emotions are always part of our body's landscape. It is the emotional body. Take a moment to check in with your emotions right now.  Feel where that emotion is in your body. See if you can name it.  Now move it out of your body.  How? 

• Draw it: what color is it?  How hard is the line?  Does it have a shape?  
• Breathe it: I recommend the children's book, The Six Healing Sounds: Qi Gong for Children by Lisa Spillane. 
• Exercise it: Any time of yogic, dance or vigorous movement and exercise can release stuck emotions
• Sing it: Give your emotion a personality and voice.  Make it into a song.
• Visualize it: Imagine it moving out of your body.  Imagine its color and shape, hold it in your hands and let it float away on a balloon, or breaking up into tiny pieces.

Activity 3: Family Portrait Game

This game is for the whole family. Set up your phone or camera on a timer to take a picture.  Hurry and get in position. Act out an emotion for the camera.  Really ham it up!  Make an angry picture, a scared one, a depressed one.  Take this game to a new level by enacting a scene, where each person is looking at and responding to another person in the picture.  Try not to plan your scenes, but just respond to the moment. There are countless, fun hysterical ways this game can go and its a great emotional practice and release.  It's also great fun to look at your new album of family portraits.

Activity 4: Dance Party

One of our favorite family evening activities is to have a Dance Party.  Dance Party gets you moving, expressing, and smiling.  Clear the floor, bring out the mirror ball if you have one, and play your family favorites.  Pick songs with a range of emotions and tempos. Deep rhythms and soulful tones make the hips move and the heart soar.  Eb and flow your dance pace by mixing in slower, emotive rhythms, like Anne and Pete Sibley's Chasing a Miracle, for expressive, lyrical dance movement, or toxeem bellydance style, then bring back a fast paced rhythm with heavy base or quick rolling, drums.  Dance till you drop.

Activity 5: Can't Stop That Feeling, Happy, Rolling in the Deep, Fireworks and Chasing a Miracle

Get the dance party started and let the music move, move, move you! Songs also help express emotions that are locked inside and need airing out.  It's a great practice to notice what songs move you deeply. If your child asks for it again and again, keep playing it, and let the emotions move. I give heartfelt gratitude to all the singers and songwriters for their gifts to our emotional bodies and our healing. If you'd like to sing-a-long, find the lyrics at the end of the post.

Can't stop That Feeling! by Justin Timberlake

Happy by Pharrell Williams

Rolling in the Deep by Adele

Firework by Katie Perry

Chasing a Miracle by Anne and Pete Sibley

LYRICS

Can't Stop The Feeling!

(from "Trolls" soundtrack) Lyrics
by Justin Timberlake

I got this feeling inside my bones
It goes electric, wavy when I turn it on
All through my city, all through my home
We're flying up, no ceiling, when we're in our zone

I got that sunshine in my pocket
Got that good soul in my feet
I feel that hot blood in my body when it drops
I can't take my eyes up off it
Moving so phenomenally
Room on lock the way we rock it
So don't stop

And under the lights when everything goes
Nowhere to hide when I'm getting you close
When we move, well, you already know
So just imagine, just imagine, just imagine

Nothing I can see but you
When you dance, dance, dance
Feeling good, good, creeping up on you
So just dance, dance, dance
Come on
All those things I shouldn't do
But you dance, dance, dance
And ain't nobody leaving soon
So keep dancing

I can't stop the feeling
So just dance, dance, dance
I can't stop the feeling
So just dance, dance, dance
Come on

Ooh, it's something magical
It's in the air, it's in my blood, it's rushing on
Don't need no reason, don't need control
I fly so high, no ceiling, when I'm in my zone

'Cause I got that sunshine in my pocket
Got that good soul in my feet
I feel that hot blood in my body when it drops
I can't take my eyes up off it
Moving so phenomenally
Room on lock the way we rock it
So don't stop

And under the lights when everything goes
Nowhere to hide when I'm getting you close
When we move, well, you already know
So just imagine, just imagine, just imagine

Nothing I can see but you
When you dance, dance, dance
Feeling good, good, creeping up on you
So just dance, dance, dance
Come on
All those things I shouldn't do
But you dance, dance, dance
And ain't nobody leaving soon
So keep dancing

I can't stop the feeling
So just dance, dance, dance
I can't stop the feeling
So just dance, dance, dance
I can't stop the feeling
So just dance, dance, dance
I can't stop the feeling
So keep dancing, come on

I can't stop the—
I can't stop the—
I can't stop the—
I can't stop the—
I can't stop the feeling

Nothing I can see but you
When you dance, dance, dance
(I can't stop the feeling)
Feeling good, good, creeping up on you
So just dance, dance, dance
Come on
(I can't stop the feeling)
All those things I shouldn't do
But you dance, dance, dance
(I can't stop the feeling)
And ain't nobody leaving soon
So keep dancing

Everybody sing
(I can't stop the feeling)
Got this feeling in my body
(I can't stop the feeling)
Got this feeling in my body
(I can't stop the feeling)
Wanna see you move your body
(I can't stop the feeling)
Got this feeling in my body

Break it down
Got this feeling in my body
Can't stop the feeling
Got this feeling in my body

Come on

Happy

Lyrics

by Pharrell Williams

It might seem crazy what I'm about to say

Sunshine she's here, you can take a break

I'm a hot air balloon that could go to space

With the air, like I don't care, baby, by the way

(Because I'm happy)

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof

(Because I'm happy)

Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth

(Because I'm happy)

Clap along if you know what happiness is to you

(Because I'm happy)

Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

Here come bad news, talking this and that (Yeah!)

Well, give me all you got, don't hold it back (Yeah!)

Well, I should probably warn you, I'll be just fine (Yeah!)

No offense to you, don’t waste your time, here's why

(Because I'm happy) etc

Bring me down

Can't nothing bring me down

My level's too high to bring me down

Can't nothing bring me down, I said

(Repeat)

(Because I'm happy)

X2

Bring me down

(Because I'm happy)

X2

Rolling in the Deep

Lyrics

By Adele

There's a fire starting in my heart

Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark

Finally, I can see you crystal clear

Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare

See how I'll leave with every piece of you

Don't underestimate the things that I will do

There's a fire starting in my heart

Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark

(REFRAIN)

The scars of your love remind me of us

They keep me thinking that we almost had it all

The scars of your love, they leave me breathless

I can't help feeling

We could have had it all

(You're gonna wish you never had met me)

Rolling in the deep

(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

You had my heart inside of your hands

(You're gonna wish you never had met me)

And you played it to the beat

(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Baby, I have no story to be told

But I've heard one on you and I'm gonna make your head burn

Think of me in the depths of your despair

Make a home down there as mine sure won't be shared

REFRAIN

Throw your soul through every open door

Count your blessings to find what you look for

Turn my sorrow into treasured gold

You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you've sown

We could have had it all

Rolling in the deep

You had my heart inside of your hands

And you played it to the beat

We could have had it all

Rolling in the deep

You had my heart inside of your hands

But you played it

You played it

You played it

You played it to the beat.

Firework

Lyrics

By Katie Perry

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag

Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?

Do you ever feel, feel so paper-thin

Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep

Six feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you

'Cause there's a spark in you?

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine

Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause, baby, you're a firework

Come on, show 'em what you're worth

Make 'em go, "Ah, ah, ah"

As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework

Come on, let your colors burst

Make 'em go, "Ah, ah, ah"

You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe

You don't have to feel like a wasted space

You're original, cannot be replaced

If you only knew what the future holds

After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed

So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road

Like a lightning bolt your heart will glow

And when it's time you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine

Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause, baby, you're a firework

Come on, show 'em what you're worth

Make 'em go, "Ah, ah, ah"

As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework

Come on, let your colors burst

Make 'em go, "Ah, ah, ah"

You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe

Boom, boom, boom

Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

It's always been inside of you, you, you

And now it's time to let it through, -ough, -ough

'Cause, baby, you're a firework

Come on, show 'em what you're worth

Make 'em go, "Ah, ah, ah"

As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework

Come on, let your colors burst

Make 'em go, "Ah, ah, ah"

You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe

Boom, boom, boom

Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

Boom, boom, boom

Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

Chasing a Miracle

by Anne and Pete Sibley

Lyrics

Chasing a miracle

What could suspend

my disbelief

and bring it to an end

I'm all too tryin

Holding all of the grief

I wanna be free

No one hears me cryin'

All alone late at night

I can't find tomorrow

I get stuck in tonight

Stars aren't shining

Just as dark as this room

I'm losing my memory

Forgetting what I believe

REFRAIN

Chasing a miracle

All of my life

Waiting for something better to arrive

A message, a present is gonna fall from the sky

Oh, but life has a way of beautifully rolling by

While I'm chasing a miracle

All of my life

Scattered in pieces

What will they think of now

Always a dreamer

Maybe a little too proud

Did it together

While I could get it just right

And all is perfection

while I'm losing my sight

Chasing a miracle

All of my life

REFRAIN

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